London – Part 1 (Goodbyes)

I came to London once before making the jump and moving here in February 2016.

At the time I was dealing with one of the hardest personal decisions I had ever had to make and being in Vancouver at the time was hard. So I asked a friend if I could crash at hers for a few weeks, bought a plane ticket and left.

Many things happened during my time in London that I doubt I’ll ever share on here but one thing I knew after only 2 days in London… I was going to live here.

It may have seemed sudden to a lot of people I knew but this wasn’t just a passing thought. I had always been drawn to the UK and London in particular, even as a knobby kneed kid I wished I had an English accent and was surrounded by old buildings. To me London always felt like this clash between the old world and new, and I wanted to be a part of it.

The plan: November 2016 – AKA Moving Month

Professionally, I am a freelancing Makeup Artist.Β  I knew I had clients until mid October and I figured my brides to be would be annoyed if I just picked up and left the country.Β  I also couldn’t leave before Halloween as it is one of my favorite (and busiest) days of the year. So it was decided…October 31st was the last day I would “work” in Vancouver and I would spend about a week and a half saying my goodbyes to my sister and parentals and friends.

I am just bad at goodbyes.

I like to think that there is a reason to this. The best I could come up with (other than just lack of social skills) is that I’ve moved around a lot in my life. In moving so much in my short number of years on this earth I have discovered a few truths about myself and my dislike and poor execution of goodbyes… TRUTH ONE: Making friends is hard. Especially when your older. With age most of us have become slightly more bitter and lazy. And keeping those friends once you have them requires efforts on both side. Vancouver, in particular, is famous for being a beautiful place full of lonely people.

This leads into TRUTH TWO: Long distance friendships/relationships are hard. I’ve had dozens of “best friends” growing up and in my adult life but after moving away or just life happening to us, the number of people I consider my true good friends is laughably small.Β  So leaving Vancouver was hard, because I knew I was going to be losing some people just due to distance and time.

TRUTH THREE: I’d rather ghost away in the middle of the night, undetected, rather than deal with the emotions that come with saying goodbye. I’m an expert bottler with my emotions. I have some great vintage stored deep. Because, really…. who needs to hear or see what I’m feeling all the time, its bad enough that I have to deal with these “feelings” I wouldn’t want to burden others with them. Some would say that this is unhealthy, I say that this is coping.

So this is just a little of me that I wanted to put out there. As much as I want this to be all “yahhhhh adventure!!!!” all the time, I know personally that is not going to be consistent from me. I don’t have the money nor the energy to be adventuring like that all the time. So there will be some more personal things on this blog as well. I hope you enjoy both.

For those who are curious, I’ve been in London now just over 6 months and it’s been over a year since I decided I was moving. I will share the application process at some point for the visa, my ups and downs of the 8 months prior to the actual move as well as wilderness exploring I have done or am doing. I’m looking forward to sharing more both on a personal level and all the fun adventuring shit that I have done or will be doing!

x C

This was me first week in London last year. Smiling like a crazy person. Was a foreign thing for me to do. πŸ™‚

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